[[ i miss you... ]]

i am sorry for erm.. not answering you today in school.. i didnt go cuz im having piano exam soon.. who am i kidding.. write here like anyone will come.. no one knows.. he thinks i deleted it.. so i guess he wun come back anymore.. sumhow.. even kim also... she says.. if he comes here.. den it will be like a indirect confession.. shuld i tell him my blog url again? haiz.. i dunno.. i dunno what im doin now.. confused.. >.< .. i miss him.. dunno how to sms him after what happened.. haiz.. how? is everythin juz gonna end lidat? but he did come and talk to me.. well.. not exactly talk but.. haiz.. den its like.. kim say she say him have this frustrated face.. since he asked me 3 times [[ why didnt you go for camp ]] and i didnt answer him.. haiz.. i dunno whats goin on in me.. feels as if i have lost my ability to decide.. i dunno.. haiz.. how...? haiz.. i wanna talk to him.. but i cant seem to open my mouth anymore.. now in school.. i keep smiling and laughing.. is it real? am i feeling happy in school? if i am.. why do i feel so sad at night?

i remember last time we would talk.. at night.. den.. well.. he was always sweet.. although he was playing dota.. he was still willing to accompany me.. wait.. was he? i dunno.. prolly i was disturbing him.. but he dun wan say... i dunno la.. it was all my fault.. cant deny.. said wrong stuff. did wrong moves.. didnt do anythin.. not giving but expect to take.. well.. im not worth him.. hes much better.. prolly that.. girl might be able to let him move on.. seeing how close they are.. well.. i might prolly give up.. i am jealous.. cannot deny that either.. im jealous of her.. when they are together.. i dunno why.. last time.. it was ok.. but now.. seems like theres more to it.. well.. he did say 3 girls like him.. so one might be her...? or am i thinking too much? fine.. i shall stop.. what if he comes back and read this blogpost? den.. im like.. wait.. he wun.. he prolly forgetten abt it.. since hes so busy now.. wid his frens and all.. no time for me le.. he has to get his life back on track.. not talk on the phone late at night anymore.. not waste his time on useless people.. i dunno.. im not him.. i cant decide for him what to do.. oh and i said i will not be sad over what ive done.. since he doesnt expect a girl to cry over what shes done and not know she caused it.. yea.. since its lidat.. im also lucky he didnt reject me in the face or anythin.. why am i crying?

i wanna know why he asked me the question today.. well.. nahz.. he was juz curious to know why a sec 3 is still in school when we should be having camp.. yep.. stop delluding myself la.. he doesnt bother abt me.. im too much of trouble for him.. and also.. his olvls are coming.. i should not disturb him.. yeap..

manDa-
BIGfake smiles
Choralist
Dont touch me =P
musiic is MY life!



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HIM
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